Loveologist™

Get Ready for Global Orgasm Day

2006-12-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

December is not only a time to observe World Aids Day, Hanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, but it’s also the First Annual Solstice synchronized Global Orgasm Day planned for Friday, December 22nd, at the time and place of your choosing with or without a partner. The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. I can’t think of a better reason to have sex than for World Peace! Can you?

This is how it works - the combination of high energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have even greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers. If you want some scientific evidence on how a mass Global Orgasm might help bring about world peace, you’ll be pleased to know that the Global Consciousness Project (http://noosphere.princeton.edu), Princeton University, runs a network of Random Event Generators (REGs) around the world, which record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers.

The Zero Point Field or Quantum Field surrounds and is part of everything in the universe. It can be affected by human consciousness, as can be seen when simple observation of a subatomic particle changes the particle’s state.

They hope that a huge influx of physical, mental and spiritual energy with conscious peaceful intent will not only show up on Princeton’s REGs, but will have profound positive effects that will change the violent state of the human world.

This is the first annual Solstice synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace, leading up to the December Solstice of 2012, when the Mayan calendar ends with a new beginning lead by Donna Sheehan 76 and Paul Reffell 55. They say that an orgasm brings on a meditative state, making it ideal for a person to focus their mind on peace at the same time. To find out more about this truly awe-inspiring event, which will forever be known as, the First Annual Solstice synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace, go to www.globalorgasm.org

World Aids Day

2006-12-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

I wanted to contribute my time and some calls to action for World Aids Day. Since 1988, the annual World Aids Day has brought a theme in what everyone can do in terms of raising awareness and moving towards solving and alleviating the HIV/AIDS crisis. For World Aids Days on December 1, 2006, I have updated my Sexual Consent Form adding the necessity for practicing ‘”safer consensual sex.” You can print one out from: http://www.avacadell.com/dr_ava_says/your_sex_life/yoursexlife_index.htm

Past themes for World Aids Day have been subjects such as Sharing the Challenge; Aids and the Family; and One World, One Hope. Everyone can do something positive and productive, like finding out about organizations which are helping people suffering with Aids: Here’s one I wrote about in my November newsletter: http://www.empowermentworks.org/

Become a pen pal to someone with Aids and learn about what they are going through, whether it’s in your city or in other parts of the world, such as Africa, where Aids has literally devastated the culture and economies of that continent.

Become a volunteer at an Aids hospice and lend an empathetic ear to someone who needs your help. There is nothing more precious than giving time and unconditional friendship. The Safe Haven Project, a non-profit service learning organization, confronts the global need for knowledge, truth and compassion for people living with, or affected by, HIV/AIDS by designing and delivering multi-faceted service forums and unique learning opportunities focused on prevention, awareness and community outreach. http://www.safehavenproject.org/

Hold an Aids Aid holiday party and ask guests to bring appropriate gifts or donations for Aids patients so that you can give to charities or support groups. Here’s a directory of them: http://www.cellscience.com/HIVCharities.html

This holiday season, open up your heart and give to someone less fortunate than yourself. It feels even better to give than to receive!

Erotic Entertainment for Women

2006-11-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

This week I attended the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, http://www.sexscience.org/ (the oldest professional society dedicated to the advancement of knowledge about sexuality) to study for my continuing education credits to maintain my certification with AASECT (http://www.aasect.org/). The conference was open for sexual researchers, therapists, counselors and educators, held in the perfect location; Las Vegas. Though I enjoyed many of the classes, especially the one about shame and sex, I made good time of my evenings by doing some extra curricula research on erotic entertainment for women.

We all know that there are plenty of strip clubs for men and even prostitution is legal in certain parts of Nevada, but I was thrilled to find out that now Sin City is offering some arousing options for women too. Don’t believe the myth that women aren't turned on visually because I’ve never seen so many out of control women screaming, pawing and acting in the same ways that men do at bachelor parties.

So the first night I went to see a show of hunky men from Australia called “ “Thunder from Downunder”, The highlight of the show was when one of the strippers jumped on my table and poured a bottle of beer over his almost naked hard body, drenching himself and my new leather pants.

There was no full nudity as I had hoped, but the show was titillating and the men were definitely above average. By comparison though, I prefer The Hollywood Men right here in L.A. It’s the best and raunchiest fully choreographed, male exotic show for ladies! http://www.hwmen.com/main.html and these guys take it all off! I had my picture taken with three of them; Scott, Rico and Austin when they were my guests on my radio show and as you can see, they are a woman’s TriGasmic fantasy!

Still on my journey for more research in Las Vegas, I checked out the men of the Sapphire Club http://www.menofsapphire.com/ and was told that there was a show that included stage performances, as well as personal one-on-one entertainment. Now that sounded perfect for my study, so I watched one gorgeous man after another pondering which one to choose for my private lap dance session. After seeing an Italian ex Mr. Universe Rico Elbaz dance and peel off his crisp white navy uniform to expose his rippling body, my mind was made up. If you’re going to get a lap dance, it might as well be with the best. I had to wait patiently while shrieking women swarmed the stage for a signed copy of his calendar and then it was my turn to have him all to myself.

I’m not going to reveal all the juicy details of my first male lap dance, but I’m happy to report that it was a great fantasy turned into reality with one of the most beautiful Adonis’s I have ever set eyes on. You can check him out for yourself at http://www.ricoelbaz.com/welcome.htm

In summary, why shouldn’t women enjoy watching live erotic entertainment as much as men? In this time of equal opportunity, we deserve to live out our fantasies, ask for what we want and receive it without any feelings of guilt or shame.

Fantasy Role-Playing

2006-09-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

With Halloween just around the corner, I wanted to come up with something imaginative and erotic for couples to play whether planning to go out or stay in. There’s a lot of pressure to come with a new character, dress up and role-play each year and it can get pretty pricey to go out and buy a new costume annually.

So I created a deck of Role Playing Fantasy cards with 26 Male, 26 Female and one Joker card, so there are enough fantasies to be fulfilled for an entire year if you choose a new one every a week.

Just imagine this as one of your own personal sex toys, capable of enhancing your relationship by expanding your sensual and sexual activities together.

How to Play

Pick a Fantasy Role Playing card for yourself or let your lover pick one for you. The choice is yours. Female cards include, a naughty School Girl, French Maid, Nurse or Cat Woman. Guys can choose from being a Knight in Shining Armor to a roguish Cowboy, Convict or Pimp. Once you’ve got your card in your hot little hands, there’s no turning back. Gather as many accessories as you can for your fantasy because the more props you have the easier it will be to get into character. Of course you may not have some specific props such as a shield for the Gladiator, but you can improvise by using a tray. Santa and Santa’s Sexy Helper require mistletoe, but you can use parsley or mint instead. The Dominatrix needs a paddle, but you can use a spatula for spanking just as well. Use your imagination to create your role playing fantasy character. Even more important than accessories is your attitude, which is why I added five other categories to help you live out your fantasy; When, Why, Where, How and Body Language. Pretend that you love being your chosen character by thinking, feeling and doing the things that this character would do to a lover.

The Goal

The goal is for the two of you to experience as many role playing characters as you can through the Fantasy Role Playing cards and have fun doing it. When couples role play together and act out each other’s fantasies, they gain a better understanding of what the other wants, needs, desires and fears. Couples can improve their communication, take their relationship to a higher level of intimacy and expand their sexual horizons.

Role playing sexual fantasies is healthy, fun and natural for couples dating or for those in a committed relationship of any orientation. Fantasies can rekindle passion, raise a diminished libido, boost intimacy, are an exciting avenue of escape, heighten enjoyment of sex, opens you up to new activities and can turn sex into adult play.

There are no losers in this game, only winners!

And you can have a Happy Halloween anytime.

Pet's Rule

2006-08-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

Charlie, my Ragdoll cat and I anxiously awaited Romeo’s return from his expensive six weeks doggie boot camp. I was surprised that Charlie missed him so much. While Romeo was gone, Charlie would wonder around the house meowing and looking for him aimlessly. Romeo and his trainer were going to arrive at 2:30 PM in the afternoon so I took the time off work and came home early. As I was driving into my garage, I noticed two little Chihuahuas in the street, so avoiding hitting them; I took them into my house and called the number on one of their collars. They belonged to Paris Hilton, my neighbor who didn’t even know they were gone. The dogs terrorized Charlie all over the house, chewed on Romeo’s toys and had a great time playing until one of Paris’s staff showed up to pick them up. I’m not going to condemn Paris for her doggie parenting skills, even though she was voted Worlds Worst Dog Owner in 2005, in a poll conducted by the New York Dog and the Hollywood Dog Magazine, because I would probably be voted the worst in 2006 with my inability to control my Pomeranian Romeo.

At last Romeo showed up looking as excited as Charlie and I. He wagged his tail, kissed me, ignored poor Charlie who was trying to kiss him, but he did have a big smile on his face. I can always tell when Romeo is smiling. His trainer said that he was rehabilitated now. There would be no more growling, dominant behavior and he was going to obey my commands. That was a week ago. Here’s the good news; Most of the time he obeys simple commands like, “sit, come, and lie down” but only reluctantly. He still begs for food, barks for no apparent reason and here’s the really bad news; I think he is now punishing me for sending him away by reverting back to his early days when he wasn’t house broken. Every day I find a new “surprise” from Romeo and it’s not a pretty sight. So, now I wonder if his training has made him more even more dominant and rebellious!

Blog Excuses

2006-08-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have lots of excuses for neglecting my blog; I was invited to the island of St. John to stay at the beautiful honeymoon resort of Caneel Bay where I gave relationship enrichment seminars to couples, then I went to Las Vegas to lecture to patients recovering from brain surgery on intimacy after illness, then I got busy in LA at the Adult Manufacturers Expo where I promoted my products for three days, all the while balancing private clients, media interviews, quality time with my family and friends, and then there was the big decision that I had to make regarding my rescue dog, Romeo. I've had him for five years now and he's so adorable, most of the time, but every now and again he can turn into a little monster, disobey commands, snap, even mess in the house. I've taken him to trainers before, but he always resorted to going back to his old ways. For a Pomeranian, he has the dominant personality of a German shepherd. Truth be told, I have become afraid of him in the last few months. When it's time for his walk, if Romeo is being defiant, he'll hide under furniture and when I approach him with his leash, he'll snap at me. Even with my quick reflexes from my Karate training, I have had bloody fingers and toes from his little but deadly fangs. The last straw was when my Ragdoll cat Charlie jumped off my bed in the middle of the night and scared Romeo, who was sleeping on the floor, and then Romeo woke me up with his growling as he attacked Charlie and got a big chunk of his fur in his mouth. Luckily Charlie got away but if he wasn't so fluffy, Romeo could just as easily have gotten a chunk of skin. I tried to get the fur out of Romeo's mouth, but he wouldn't let me go near him. He looked at me with those ferocious eyes and growled through the fur as if to say, "Don't even think about it." So, I stayed awake for an hour watching Romeo slowly chew all of the cat's fur and finally swallow it without choking. I could not get Romeo to go downstairs so I went downstairs myself looking for the cat. Charlie was traumatized so I spent all night consoling him. The next day, sleep deprived and frustrated with my own lack of control over my dog, I decided to contact another trainer. I called him up and told him my dilemma and read him a long list of Romeo’s issues.

The Good

Most of the time, he’s happy, friendly and loving towards everyone, he lets strangers pet him. I take him to work with me and he interacts positively with clients, and then lies under my desk quietly. He let’s everyone pet him and wags his tail and he loves filming TV shows. In fact he is really the star of my A & E profile, which you can see on my website.
He gets along with Charlie, the cat who has been with me for 12 years and he gets along with the office cat, Dino. Often we have all three at the office amicably.
Romeo is smart and has a good understanding of vocabulary including: sit, lie down, come, tummy tickle, kiss, high-five, yummy yummy (that’s his favorite word), let’s go bye bye, pee pee, good boy and No, just to name a few.
He loves riding in the car, sitting in his high chair while I pet him.
He loves going for walks, running, playing, he likes interacting with small dogs.
He always lets me clean him up if he has soiled himself.
He is well behaved at the vet and at the groomer.
He has never bitten a stranger.
He has breakfast between 6 & 6:30 AM and dinner around 5:00 PM. I have been feeding him Artemis dry food with chicken, turkey, salmon, fruits and vegetables. He won’t eat the canned food so I have been adding a little cooked chicken, ground beef or steak to his dry food. His favorite treats are original milk-bones with bone marrow and greenies.

The Bad

Romeo becomes a vicious monster when he has a bone or a Greenie in his mouth, if anyone tries to take it away from him, he will bite them.
When Romeo sleeps, if woken he will growl and snap at anyone including the cat who sometimes jumps off the bed and startles him.
Sometimes I have to bribe Romeo to move from one room to another with treats, but recently he won’t move, even for a treat. I’m too afraid to pick him up in case he bites me, since he has a fearful look on his face.
Romeo is afraid of certain rooms and steps, floor surfaces like wood or marble. He will walk carefully backwards until he is out of the room with these surfaces.
Romeo will not always obey commands unless he sees a treat first.
Romeo is obsessed with licking feet. All feet!
Romeo has frequent erections, humps people and licks himself.
Romeo lifts his leg and pees over a dozen times during one walk.
Romeo doesn’t heel when we walk. He pulls on his leash, sometime just stops.
Romeo antagonizes other dogs (especially big ones) by growling and kicking dirt up with his hind legs.
Romeo still occasionally pees and poops in the house.
When Romeo is called, sometimes he obeys, sometimes he does a death march and sometimes he just won’t budge.
I take him to restaurants and feed him people food, also at home because he begs and I can’t resist.
Health issues include recurring diarrhea (probably from the treats and human food), scooting (clogged anal glands), constipation, back pain from when he fell off my bed and his x-rays show some spinal degeneration.

My Objectives

I would like to enjoy him without any fear of him biting me or anyone else.
I would like him to obey when called so that I don’t have to bribe him with food.
I would still like to spoil him, tickle his tummy (which he requests often), cuddle him and take him with me where ever I can as part of the family without worry.

My Concerns

1. Romeo has never stayed in a kennel before I’m concerned that he’ll feel like I’m abandoning him.
2. Romeo will behave perfectly with a trainer, but when he comes back home, he will go back to his old ways.
3. I have always been affectionate with him, allowed him on the bed, played, tickled him, allowed him to lick and kiss me. Am I to suddenly disallow this and how will that affect him?
4. How can I be assured that he will obey my commands?
5. What if the people around him don’t change their behavior towards him? Will his training still be successful or not?

The trainer told me that Romeo was like a bomb waiting to explode and that I had to hand him over for boot camp training for several weeks or months if I wanted to live in harmony with my dog. The fee for such training was over $4,000 and even though there was no guarantee, I had no choice. I could not let Romeo, the Pomeranian rule my life. So, the following day I took my little red haired buddy to the kennel and dropped him off for doggie boot camp. I miss taking him to the office with me and walking around the block for exercise, sharing a sorbet on hot day and tickling his tummy whenever he requests it. I feel like a doggie-mommy failure and I've been told that I spoiled him too much, treated him like a human so he didn't respect me. He's been gone almost three weeks now and I'm only supposed to visit him once a week because it causes too much anxiety, for me not the dog. I'm hoping that he'll come back having learned some valuable doggie lessons like not biting people and obeying simple orders like "come."

Loveology University

2006-05-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

More and more I’m being asked if I can point women in the right direction to attend classes where they can get further insight on women's health, sexuality, enhancing and improving relationships. They’re hungry for information to use to enrich their own lives and many want to offer professional help to others, woman to woman!

I have the solution. Become a Certified LoveologistTM. You need not have experience as a therapist or counselor upon passing the LoveologistTM exam. The LoveologistTM love coaching course is self-paced and you take your final exam when you’re ready.

So if you’re comfortable talking about love, relationships and sex are willing to learn and expand your own sexual horizons, then you have the right qualifications to become a LoveologistTM

You’ll receive a LoveologyTM Certificate and have my recognized brand of approval to help you with opportunities to teach, guide, assist, create and build a love coaching practice for yourself. Whether it's with one-on-one clients, group workshops or selling love related products, you’ll enhance your knowledge and empower yourself to succeed. Love coaching is an effective way to bring about positive change in your own life and improve the quality of life for others!

Become a Certified Loveologist Now!

http://www.avacadell.com/loveology_university/index.htm

Sex & the Heart Blog

2006-04-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

I was flattered when asked to speak to an esteemed group of doctors from around the country on sexual dysfunction. It’s always an interesting encounter (and challenge) when I deal with Western Civilization’s finest medicine men. And, since I was always very good at playing doctor (wink, wink), I welcomed the invite as an opportunity to educate and be educated.

The Sex & Heart Symposium was held at the Galveston Convention Center in Texas and I would be the last speaker of the day. I had listened to lectures on Erectile Dysfunction and Diabetes, Heart Failure, Hypertension, Smoking, and Testosterone Therapy for Menopausal Women for a greater part of the day. (My assistant, Hilary, was overwhelmed with all the scientific and medical jargon. It was very clinical in content. She asked if she would ever make use of this information as a future Sex Therapist. I explained she probably wouldn’t have to use it, but knowing it was still valuable.)

Dr. Ernst Schwarz, famed Cardiologist and organizer of the event, played my media reel for everyone and offered me an impressive introduction. It was my turn and showtime! As I took to the podium, I must admit it was quite intimidating following the scientific approach by the previous speakers, all of who were medical doctors. After all, with all those statistics, what could I possibly offer on the body’s most durable and fascinating muscle – the human heart? How could I possibly compete with their medical interpretation and professional opinion on the muscle synonymous and symbolic of LOVE itself? Common sense and a 5000 year old philosophy of Tantra, that’s how. I knew my lecture was certain to be very different. After all, I had just listened to every lecture offered from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. and knew mine (Practical and Tantric Solutions to Sexual Dysfunctions for Couples) would be controversial and non-conventional.

I began by making a sweeping statement: “Tantra can heal patients suffering or recovering from any number of diseases including heart disease, cancer, hysterectomy, prostate surgery or sexual dysfunction.” Ever heard a pin drop? Silence. I almost wondered if the microphone had faltered. J The audience looked at me in bewilderment, and I continued undaunted. “When a patient suffers or recovers from any of the aforementioned ailments, they often feel incomplete, disfigured, broken and, most certainly, un-sexy. However, when a loving partner offers and performs Tantric elements such as breath, breathing their life force energy with Tantric caresses on to damaged nerve areas or scar tissue, a healing connection is formed. The patient feels an enormous validation, love and desire.” How can the human touch be measured in science, in statistics? How do you think “miracles” are performed? Do you believe in miracles?

I do. I shared with the audience a case history of a patient of mine. The patient had visited conventional doctors but found no cure for her sexual dysfunction. As a last resort, she came to see me. I insisted she bring her husband to the counseling sessions and soon discovered that her physical pain was caused by her emotional anger and resentment towards her husband. I believe we have two hearts - one emotional and one physical - that work in synergy to keep us healthy of mind, body and soul. The cardiologists in the audience found this statement quite amusing. After all, it’s pretty well documented we only have one heart. However, my statement of two hearts is intended to represent the symbolic and healing power of human beings themselves (most of which are not medical doctors); and the importance of the interaction and relationship with those they love through their highest and most precious gift of the human capacity – the human touch. Is it not conceivable that this interaction, this touch relieve hypertension, stress, depression and fatigue all of which have been shown to be a part of heart disease? By the end of my presentation, the audience was willing to open their minds to a powerful alternative - the 5000 year old philosophy of Tantra. Tantra is a valuable addition to our health practices, and a practice in which patients can benefit from combining medical science and spirituality. If it’s not a coincidence the universal symbol of LOVE is the heart, why would it be far-fetched to assume a possible cure for the heart is LOVE? Perhaps ‘cause it’s too simple or, better yet, too hard for some people.

Passion Parties

2006-03-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine a room filled with over 1000 passionate and powerful women from all across the United States and Canada just waiting to be educated and entertained by yours truly? On Friday March 10th Passion Parties® held their annual conference for their Passion Consultants™ at the Las Vegas Riviera Hotel. After a shining introduction by the President, Pat Davis, I congratulated my audience for taking charge of their lives and enabling women everywhere to have positive and healthy sex attitudes with the help of Passion Parties® products. Since they sell enhancement products at home parties to an expansive group of women ranging from 18 to 80, I shared some of the physical, sexual and psychological changes and needs that women go through as they mature and how they can get the most benefit from Passion Parties® line of products.

I shared the fact that the earlier a woman learns self awareness; to accept and love her body, the healthier and happier she will be sexually. Consequently, by the time she reaches menopause, there is no reason why she shouldn’t continue to have a healthy and active sex life.
Satisfaction with one's sexual relationship is the most important part of sexual health. There are three attitudes that distinguish people who are satisfied from those who are not, these are:

1. Accepting your own sexuality just the way it is.
2. Listening and acknowledging your partner’s sexual likes and dislikes.
3. Being open to trying new things that can heighten a romantic or sexual experience for you.

Both men and women experience changes in their sexual experiences over the course of their lifetime because we continually grow mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually. As Passion Consultants™, these women can make a difference by helping to improve the quality of other women’s love lives.
Passion Parties, Inc. offers women the opportunity to own and manage their own business, while promoting sexual awareness and well-being. Their direct-selling business model provides generous rewards and recognition for their independent Passion Consultants™. For more information go to www.passionparties.com

Sex Consent

2006-03-14T13:08:00.000-08:00

In response to an article on http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/03/14/uk.rape.reut/index.html
Headline:
LONDON, England -- Men must make sure they gain consent before having sex to avoid being sent to jail, the British government is to say in a hard-hitting advertising campaign being launched on Tuesday.
My response is this is: I wholeheartedly agree so use a Sexual Consent Form like this one that I created:

Sexual Consent Form & Right of Privacy Agreement

I, _______________________, hereby declare under penalty of
perjury that I am over 18 years old.

I further declare that this agreement is of my own free will and that neither I nor anyone near or dear to me has been threatened with harm or embarrassment.

Both parties agree that this is a private agreement not to be disclosed to third parties except in case of accusation of sexual misconduct by (name) ________________________ of (state)___________________. If he/she shows or makes public this agreement without accusation of sexual misconduct, it is agreed that he/she will be liable for damages for invasion of privacy, whether or not his/her signature appears herein.

By initialing __________________, agrees to engage in all or some of the following consensual acts. Check boxes below and initial the following.

Sexual fondling, petting and kissing________
Sexual intercourse________
Oral copulation (mutual)________
Unilateral copulation by________only.

Other, to be specified: ___________________________________________________________________

I further declare that I am at this time not under the influence of alcohol, drugs or medication and agree to engage in consensual sex with____________________________ and intend not to change my mind before the sex act is over. However, it is further understood that if I, for any reason say the words “Code Red,” that my partner agrees to stop instantly.

Signed:_________________________Signed:__________________________

Date:___________________________Date:____________________________

You may also want to check with your attorney before entering into any agreement.

Superstar athletes, actors, rock stars, politicians, even entrepreneurs have groupies who will do just about anything to have sex with them, but can the groupies be trusted? Will they later lie about the act being consensual? Could they threaten to sue, or worse still, make an accusation about sexual assault? You bet they could! So how can these well-known people who are regularly out of town and away from home - which can lead to loneliness and result in temptation - protect themselves? Condoms can protect from STD’s and unwanted pregnancy, but another form of protection is to have a sexual consent form signed before having any sex, as I described on TV’s Celebrity Justice, CNN, ABC, Fox News and Good Morning America programs. If you think that a sexual consent form is only for the rich and famous, think again. Even if you have no liquid assets, you still need to protect yourself from false accusations because you could lose everything, including personal property, freedom and reputation. There are many other benefits too, to signing a sexual consent form, including the fact that you literally open up a form of intimate communication prior to rushing into sex. And ladies, the sexual consent form can protect you too, from being taken advantage of sexually because there is an “out clause” that stipulates that if you say the words “Code Red,” your partner must stop immediately. I chose this phrase because the words “No” and “Stop” have been used all too frivolously in our society, and unfortunately, they are not always taken seriously. By using the sexual consent form with an FDA approved condom, you could protect yourself legally and sexually.

Night of 100 Stars

2006-03-10T03:19:00.000-08:00

This year I went to The Night of 100 Stars at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I walked the red carpet with the Hollywood crowd and was dazzled by hundreds of paparazzi on Sunday night at the 16th annual “Night of 100 Stars” Oscar viewing party. This charity event was hosted by Hollywood super-agent Norby Walters, who annually attracts some of the hottest stars from the past and present, including many former Academy Award winners. Among the rich and famous were Lou Diamond Phillips, Ernest Borgnine, Ed Asner, Traci Bingham, Julie Brown, Wink Martindale, Alan Thicke, John Schneider, Anthony Michael Hall, Dick Van Patten, Warren Moon, Lance Bass, Amber Smith and many more.

I watched the Academy Awards on a big screen, but was constantly distracted by rowdy cheers and applause from fellow actors jumping up and down every time somebody won an Oscar. Admittedly, it would have been more comfortable watching the Oscars at home where I could have curled up on my coach and kicked off my uncomfortable high heels, but there’s something to be said for getting all caught up in the energy of the Hollywood atmosphere.

My favorite moment was when Crash won for best picture. This movie was a powerful thought-provoking film that filled me with emotion. My biggest disappointment was when Philip Seymour Hoffman didn’t bark his acceptance speech, as he promised he would on the David Letterman show.

In case you missed the big winners, here are the 78th Annual Oscar winners:

Best Picture
Crash

Best Actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman in Capote

Best Actress
Reese Witherspoon in Walk the Line

Best Supporting Actor
George Clooney in Syriana

Best Supporting Actress
Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener

Best Director
Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain

Apprentice Winner

2006-03-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

As you can imagine it wasn’t easy for me to select my apprentice from such a wonderful group of applicants. They all had unique qualities and any one of them could have worked for me.

After careful consideration and much deliberation, I have selected someone that best suits my specific needs. Unfortunately, I could only select one person at this time, so I had to send out rejection letters to everyone else.

I believe that everything in life is a learning experience and everyone we meet, no matter how briefly impacts our lives and I hope that I’ve impacted the apprentice applicants’ lives positively. They have certainly left me with some lasting memories.

I chose the winner for her positive energy and genuine enthusiasm, her dynamic personality, intelligence, healthy outlook on sexuality and uninhibited persona. She just celebrated her 22nd birthday on February 26th. She is currently working on her B.A. in psychology from Cal State Northridge, has good computer skills and wants to be a sex therapist. I’m happy to announce that the winner of my Apprentice Search is Miss Hilary Buckelew.

Love Lessons

2006-02-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

The Mark & Brian Show of KLOS 95.5 FM put out a nationwide search for singles who deemed themselves ready for marriage. The radio reality show dubbed “Two Strangers and a Wedding”, began when the radio station picked 5 potential brides and 5 potential grooms. What was at stake? An all expense paid wedding; rings, reception, gifts, and honeymoon, you name it! The catch (and, it’s a pretty big catch), the prospective winners, a bride and groom, will see each other for the first time on their wedding day. A true “nice to meet you” at the altar wedding! The ten vying contestants were strapped to a lie detector and asked a series of questions by - guess who? Me! The experience was fantastic! It was incredible fun, and I found the process so fulfilling that I just had to share some of the value of it with you all.

As the radio station’s resident Loveologist, I was able ask some very personal questions. Not being one to shy away, I dived right in, full steam ahead! and why not? After all, it’s “Two Strangers and a Wedding”, not “Two Strangers and A Funeral.” I strongly recommend anyone planning on getting married, to ask their significant other the same frank questions before tying the knot. Getting answers to these most intimate questions may save you a lot of heartache. Let’s face it; sex and intimacy are a big part of marriage, which is why I’m giving you the opportunity to ask yourself and your lover, some provocative questions so that you can discuss any potential problems before they occur. Sit down somewhere comfy, with a candle and a fine glass of wine, look each other in the eyes, be honest and fearless, and go for it!

Questions for Men:

1. What is the worse thing a woman could do or say to you? For example: Accuse you of something. Hit you. Hold back sex, etc.,
2. Which role-playing fantasy would turn you on the most? Master and slave. Biker and slut. Nurse and patient. Teacher and student. Hooker and John.
3. What is your most precious possession?
4. Do you approve or disapprove of learning different sexual techniques from experts who author books or DVD’s?
5. List the best qualities you have to bring to a relationship.
6. Name three of the most significant times in your life.
7. Do you think you need to make any personal improvements in yourself? If so, what?
8. What are your biggest fears about marriage?
9. What is one life lesson you would like to share with your partner?
10. What is your definition of intimacy?
11. What would you do if you and your wife had mismatched sex drives?
12. What is your definition of a romantic evening?
13. What questions could you ask her to get to know her more intimately?
14. Describe yourself in one word?
15. Who or what do you love the most?
16. What do you feel is the biggest success you have achieved in your life?
17. How many times have you been in love?
18. Would you rather your wife was funny, seductive, smart or nurturing?
19. How would you like your wife to dress in order to light your fire?
20. How would you get her in the mood for lovemaking?
21. When do you feel most vulnerable?
22. What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
23. What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
24. Do you like a woman to talk erotically in bed?
25. What was your most embarrassing relationship moment?
26. Name three women that you admire and why.
27. What is your favorite part of your own body, and why?
28. How do you think women perceive you at first glance?
29. What is your favorite sexual activity, and why?
30. What makes you believe that you are ready for marriage?
31. What single word would you use to describe your sexual personality?
32. Would you say that you are a good lover, an average lover, or a below average lover, and what would it take to make you a great lover?
33. What turns you off sexually, and why?
34. Is there any sexual act that you will not perform, and why?
35. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
36. What’s the most hurtful criticism you’ve ever received?
37. List three things that women do or say that annoy you
38. Are you fanatical about anything?
39. Do you have a pet name for any intimate part of your body?
40. What do you feel has been the biggest failure or drawback you have ever experienced?
41. Can you overlook indiscretions from your future wife’s past?
42. Do you have any deal-breakers that would prevent you from getting married?
43. Do you have any sexual inhibitions?
44. What is the wildest sexual encounter you have personally experienced?
45. Where does sex rank in life’s priorities for you?
46. What are your biggest strengths?
47. What are your weaknesses?
48. Have you ever regretted being intimate with someone? If so, why?
49. Finish this sentence: “I wish women would…”
50. How would you feel about your wife going topless on the Riviera?
51. How would you feel about having a three-way with your wife?
52. Name three sexual activities that turn you on the most.
53. What do you love most about a woman
54. What do you love most about yourself?
55. What are you not willing to change for your marriage?
56. What do you think are the benefits of being married?
57. What is your favorite part of the female body, and why?
58. Would you partake in a nude Jacuzzi with other couples in a resort where clothing is optional?
59. How often would you like to have sex?
60. What sexual fantasies do you still have that you’d like to turn into reality?

Questions for Women:

1. How would you describe yourself in one word?
2. What qualities are you looking for in a husband?
3. What unique qualities do you have to bring to a relationship?
4. Prioritize what is most important in your life; work, family, spirituality, friends, money, health?
5. What is your definition of love, intimacy, and sex?
6. What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
7. Finish this sentence: "I wish men would..."
8. What would you like to improve about yourself?
9. How often would you like to have sex?
10. What have you learned from your past relationships?
11. How do you think men perceive you on first impression?
12. Would you rather your husband be rich, handsome, sexy, funny or intelligent?
13. Describe the best sexual experience you’ve ever had.
14. Who do you still need to forgive in your past, and why?
15. What is one life lesson you would like to share with your husband?
16. What one word would you use to describe your sexual personality?
17. What did you dislike most about your childhood?
18. If your past boyfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?
19. What was your most embarrassing moment ever?
20. At what point in a marriage do you feel divorce is inevitable?
21. What gift would you like your husband to give you on your wedding night?
22. What are you sexually inhibited about?
23. What makes you feel sexy?
24. What is your favorite part of the male body, and why?
25. What is your favorite part of your, body and why?
26. How do you like to be romanced?
27. How long would you like lovemaking to last?
28. If you didn’t have an orgasm, would you say so or fake it?
29. What do you like to be called during lovemaking?
30. How important is foreplay to you?
31. Where is the place to touch you that turns you on the most?
32. What turns you off sexually, and why?
33. How would impotence affect your relationship?
34. Have you had any sexual problems with any previous lover?
35. What changes do you expect to occur in your life after you are married?
36. What if you and your husband can’t agree on having children?
37. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
38. What is your greatest possession and why?
39. Who or what do you love the most?
40. If your husband wanted to see one of his ex-lovers socially, would you object?
41. What sexual fantasies do you still have that you’d like to turn into reality?
42. List three things that men do or say that annoy you.
43. List three lessons that you’ve learned from past relationships.
44. What do you love most about yourself?
45. What fears do you have about marriage?
46. What has been your greatest accomplishment?
47. What has been your biggest failure?
48. What animal would best describe you in bed, and why?
49. Do you have a pet name for any intimate part of your body?
50. Would you do a striptease for your lover if he asked you to?
51. Would you have sex with your lover even if you weren’t in the mood?
52. Would you let your lover tie you up or would you want to tie him up?
53. Do you like to use sex toys? If so, which ones?
54. In order of priority what sex act do you enjoy the most: giving oral sex, receiving oral sex, or intercourse?
55. Do you like to talk erotically in bed?
56. What is your favorite sexual position and why?
57. How do you feel about spanking?
58. Do you enjoy sexual role-playing? If so, what role turns you on the most?
59. What is the wildest sex act you’ve ever done?
60. What would turn you off from wanting to have sex with your husband?

If you are looking for love, read my book, 12 Steps to Everlasting Love with a 30-day plan of action designed to help you:

Attract potential soul mates.
Conquer your fears of rejection.
Enhance self-worth.

Break down the walls to finding everlasting love.
Take control of your own needs by focusing on your inner power.

For $17.95 what have you got to lose? Nothing.

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My Apprentice Search Blog

2006-02-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

I am still looking for a dynamic, intelligent, interesting, and uninhibited person to be my next apprentice. So, if you have what it takes, please send me a short 2 or 3 minute video, showing me how you can contribute to promoting the benefits of healthy love and intimacy to singles and couples around the globe. The deadline is Valentines Day. So far, I have some great candidates on video and you can view them on my website at http://avacadell.com/apprenticeship/video_listing.htm

I’ve met most of them and they are even more impressive in person than on their video auditions. I’m taking your votes into consideration, but also evaluating them individually on their personality and the chemistry that I have with them individually. It’s getting down to the wire so here’s one last look at the apprentice hopefuls. I would love your feedback, positive or negative.

Becca Hanson Becca Hanson, 29, has a B.S. in Marketing from Florida State Univ. as well as a National Certification in Massage Therapy. She teaches a class, Sexplorations, and is a Sex Educator with Planned Parenthood, she also attends Tantra workshops and throws sex toy parties. Votes: 56

Farrah Debus Farrah Debus is 29 and has a B.A. in communication from Cal State Northridge. Her work experience includes teaching beauty and marketing at the Fashion Institute, office management, and bartending. Votes: 9

Hilary Buckelew Hilary will be 22 in Feb. She is currently working on her B.A. in psychology from Cal State Northridge, has worked as an office manager and has good computer skills. Hilary wants to be a sex therapist. Votes: 37

Alicia Ruiz Alicia Ruiz graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in 1997. Since that time she has worked as a magazine writer and fact checker (Latina, Teen People), and as a documentary researcher and production assistant for HBO and Lifetime. Votes: 7

Christina Engelhardt 45 years old, from LA, Masters Degree in psychology and worked as an assistant to the famed movie director Federico Felini. Christina is also an astrologer who writes and creates personal charts. Votes: 13

Cory Honickman Age 28. With a MSW and founder of The Relation Foundation, Cory has developed her expertise in marriage and family issues through years of case studies, counseling, and curriculum. Votes: 90

Salvatore Chilelli Age: 31 from Toronto, High school education, worked as a limo driver, waiter and actor. Claim to fame - a music video with Oscar De La Hoya. Votes: 9

Tracey Trottenberg Age:35 from Montreal, a Film & Communications graduate from McGill University. She is a coach, trainer and facilitator with a background in marketing, advertising and technology, working in Canada, the US and the Caribbean. Tracey is also founder of the Amazing Women network. Votes: 40

Charlese Thill Age:26 from Utah, attended the University of Utah for 2 years, ran an entertainment office, has taught 2 year olds, and has also worked with disabled adults. Votes: 16

Amanda Palasciano Age: 24. Education: B.A., in Sociology, Minor Pre Law at Montclair State New Jersey. Amanda has worked in public relations with some of Hollywood's most renowned publicists, and she is now an independent script writer. Votes: 35

Januarys Golden Globe Awards

2006-01-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

Yours truly was invited to the 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills.
My mission: to find the most loving couple in Hollywood by watching their body language. More than verbal communication, body language is raw and uncensored so you can learn a lot by simply watching people and how they interact with each other.

Felicity Huffman and spouse William H. Macy celebrated her Best Actress win for TransAmerica by hitting the dance floor. Couples who dance together stay together.

Tony Robbins and his beautiful wife Sage were smooching outside the bathroom between awards. Public kissing is a good sign that there’s passion in the bedroom.

Nicollette Sheridan and on again-off again boyfriend Michael Bolton looked cozy at the bar. Hopefully they were making a toast to something exciting like “goose bumps.”

Matthew Fox and his wife, Margherita Ronchi nibbled on chicken skewers and egg rolls. Feeding each other is a good sign of equality in a relationship.

Seal had his arm proudly around his stunning wife Heidi Klum’s waist, and what a tiny waist it was after recently giving birth to their baby. Their body language signalled mutual respect and love.

Pierce Brosnan and wife Keely Shaye Smith strolled around holding hands, a romantic gesture that says, “I really like you.”

Charlize Theron was with her boyfriend, Stuart Townsend. He looked adoringly at her all night and who can blame him? His body language stated, “I want you now” and hers “You’ll have to wait.”
The Dr. Ava award for the Most Loving Celebrity Couple goes to Reese Witherspoon and hubby Ryan Phillippe, who hugged and kissed her so hard that she almost lost her balance when her name was announced as best actress in Walk The Line. Later on they were cuddling on a red sofa at the Weinstein party. Their body language said it all, “I love you and always will.”

Xmas Blog

2006-01-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

A Sexologist’s Xmas

For me, Christmas is about Santa Claus…Santa Claus and family gatherings...Santa Claus and exchanging presents…Santa Claus and decorations…Santa Claus and holiday parties. Santa Claus! Santa Claus! Santa Claus! Yeah, well, not in my business. Not even Saint Nick can keep people’s love, relationship and sexual problems from surfacing on my list.

Handcuffed to the Loo

Take Felicity, for example, who called frantically begging me to counsel her boyfriend. With the voice of a stevedore and an attitude to match, she was clearly a dominant and agitated person. Felicity began our conversation by complimenting me on my work, especially with women. She applauded me for being a powerful and passionate woman. Okay, so I’m a sucker for compliments, what can I say? She got my attention. But it’s what came out of her mouth next that floored me, something that quite frankly is difficult to accomplish. Felicity proceeded to describe how she takes care of her live-in boyfriend, Mike. “Before I go to work, I put on his diapers and handcuff him to the loo so he can’t masturbate,” she announced defiantly. “And how does Mike feel about that?” I interjected. “Well, he tries to escape,” she responded spontaneously. “And that is why you must order him to do what I say, Dr. Ava!” Her response was angry and confrontational, not very becoming of her name, derived from happiness. Since I pride myself on the ability to shelve my own personal judgments in such matters, I did not reveal my disdain for Felicity in that moment. Instead, I tried to explain to her in my most professional manner that I do not condone or recommend anything to anyone which may be harmful. Felicity pleaded with me, explaining that her way was the only way for Mike. As far as she was concerned, she was intended to protect Mike from himself. The more argumentative she become, the more firm and adamant became my resolve. The phone call ended with a secret wish of mine…that Mike escape Felicity and find his way to some serious counseling.

So you see, even a sexologist makes their list and checks it twice. It’s important to be selective about the clients I treat. Now, back to Santa Claus. Do you think I made his list?

Sex in the Yard

People tend to clean house towards the end of the year. It makes sense. After all, even a milk carton has an expiry date. Getting problems to expire? That’s a little trickier.

Ed and Patty hadn’t had sex in 10 months. Fran and Shaun wanted the fantasy of a threesome. Carla and Joseph got married before having sex, discovering after the fact that Joseph’s penis was too big for Carla’s vagina, or Carla’s vagina was too small for Joseph’s penis (you choose). And, they all wanted a quick fix! Okay, everybody still with me? Don’t worry; it’s not one of those mathematical word problems we all learned to hate.

I asked Ed and Patty to describe the last time they had sex. Patty said it was very romantic while Ed described it as highly erotic. Both enjoyed making love in their backyard during a warm afternoon. The only problem is that their neighbors weren’t too keen on the concept. In fact, the neighbors gathered together and signed a petition warning them that if Ed and Patty had sex in their backyard again, the neighborhood would press charges. Gives a new meaning to the “neighborhood watch program” don’t you think? Ashamed, Ed and Patty were scared, afraid that, if they made love in and/or out of their house, they would be seen or heard and consequently slammed behind bars. They even contemplated moving due to the humiliation. I felt so bad for them that I was tempted to leave the room and let them have sex in my office, but I didn’t want to have to remove stains from my chaise-longue, so I reconsidered. Instead, I encouraged them to do some “Sensate Focus” exercises in my office so that they could reconnect with each other kinesthetically. This is non-sexual touching where they caress each other on the face, hands or other non-sexual areas in a loving way. They gave each other verbal feedback and maintained eye-contact throughout the exercises. As I watched Ed and Patty interact with each other, I realized that they had both blamed each other for the indiscreet sexual experience their neighbors had observed. The “Sensate Focus” was healing a hurt relationship that had every chance of rekindling its passion. I gave Ed and Patty a “Love Prescription” to make love in their home; be it in the kitchen, bathroom or on dining room table without worrying about their nosy neighbors, who were probably jealous anyway.

One for the money, two for the show, three for a threesome?

There’s a fine line between fantasy and reality. Fran and Shaun were looking to cross that line. The attractive thirty-something couple came to me looking for some spice in their love life. Shaun had suggested a threesome, and Fran was not sure she needed or wanted another X chromosome in her bed. I asked Shaun the question to end all questions: “Why?” His response did not surprise me. “Variety. I just want some variety.” Also not a surprise was Fran’s reaction. Needless to say, she did not look too happy. She verbally attacked him, questioning why she was not enough for him. He explained that it was purely sex and that he loved Fran very much. Before it could get out of hand, I called a truce between the two of them. I explained that in their present state of mind, it did not appear a threesome was in order. I suggested they fantasize about bringing another woman into their bedroom as a compromise. After all, fantasy can often be more exciting than reality. The cons often far exceed the pros when contemplating something as fantastical as a threesome. It was clear Fran would not only feel jealous but would turn resentful towards Shaun if they proceeded with realizing his fantasy. Shaun admitted he did not want to hurt his wife. The two agreed and a compromise was successfully reached.

Is he too big or she too small?

Carla saved her virginity for Joseph for religious reasons. Joseph had sexual relations with two other women before Carla, but his fantasy was to marry a virgin. Now that he got what he wanted, he was complaining that his penis was too big for his wife’s vagina, (be careful what you wish for). So, I asked him if it was too big for his other lovers and he replied with a smirk, “No, they liked it.” Poor Carla looked sheepish and then started verbally blaming herself for having an inferior vagina. Now since I don’t allow any nudity in my office, I really couldn’t tell if he was too big or she was too small, but I decided that Carla needed a little help in the sexual knowledge and confidence department. Before long, I had her laughing at all the various sized dildos I had put on my desk for her to observe. I explained to her that her vagina would stretch to accommodate each and every one of them, especially when aroused.

Since she was a virgin, I recommended she start out with the thinnest and shortest dildo and work her way up to the one most similar in size to her husbands penis. I told Joseph to seduce his wife by kissing her, caressing her and orally pleasuring her for at least half an hour before encouraging her to use the phallic sex toys. Carla needed to learn how to relax and surrender her body to her husband, but he would have to be patient. Joseph would need to teach her the art of lovemaking so that her vagina could get used to being penetrated without discomfort. I loaded them up with 6 different sized dildos and plenty of lubricant. They left my office giggling like silly adolescents.

I love making people happy and I love my job!

First week in December

2005-12-13T22:29:00.000-08:00

Do Girls have Weenies Too?

Ricky was a very precocious five year old and his mother Stephanie was demoralized by an unexpected question he asked her. While dressing himself, Ricky looked down in his underwear with a puzzled expression and asked her, “Do girls have weenies too, Mom?” Speechless, Stephanie could not think of a single good answer to give her inquisitive child, so she made an appointment to come and see me for a counseling session. I told her, “You are the greatest role model your child has. If you don’t talk to him about sex, he will find someone else that will. And they may give him the wrong information.” I encouraged Stephanie to answer her son’s questions honestly and directly. I suggested some role-playing to demonstrate; she played Ricky and I played the part of the mother. I said, “No Ricky, girls do not have a weenie, which is actually called a penis. Girls have a vagina and that’s one of the things that make boys different from girls.” I explained that evasive or negative answers can contribute to poor self-image or relationship problems in the future, not to mention sexual repression and confusion. Stephanie left my office with a skip in her step, feeling like a more empowered parent.

I’m a great believer in letting kids know what physiological changes to expect before they happen. For example, prepare them for erections, wet dreams, breast development, menstruation, orgasm, ejaculation and even Acne. Knowledge is power and sexual knowledge will prevent feelings of sexual guilt and shame.

Britney Spears gives Kevin Three Months Probation

I got a call from Shauna, a reporter for Life & Style magazine who asked for my professional opinion on Britney’s ultimatum for her hubby Kevin Federline. Britney has allegedly given him three months to shape up or ship out. “If this report is true” I said, “Then I doubt the marriage will last. Britney knew the nature of the beast before she married him and she should not try to change him now. That will just cause resentment and more conflict in the marriage.” So Shauna asked what advice I had for the celebrity couple. My advice to them is the same as to any couple who gets hitched prematurely. If both want to make the marriage work, are willing to compromise, to give and take, then it could work. Kevin needs to grow up, give up his partying and start behaving like a responsible father and husband. Britney needs to have more realistic expectations of Kevin and behave like a loving mother and a wife, not a spoiled superstar. Marriage isn’t easy, especially in Hollywood where there are so many temptations to stray, but it’s a choice that two people make when they are ready to make a commitment to each other for better or worse!

Grizzly Adams and Naked Catering

Dan Haggerty, best known for the lead role of the TV series Grizzly Adams, is a friend of mine who insisted that I meet someone who could enhance my next big event. His name is Chef Pieps and his company is called Naked Catering. I wondered if he would show up at my office in his birthday suit. Very little shocks me, and I’m always game for something new and exciting! The Chef wasn’t naked, but some of the photos from his portfolio revealed pictures of beautiful naked waitresses...well, they were sort of naked. Their bodies were artfully painted and let me tell you, I never knew the naked body could make such a good canvas for creative expression. Clothing optional servers are the latest craze in Hollywood, he told me, so who am I to protest? My last big event, though there were no naked servers, was at the LA Erotica Museum to celebrate my new book, The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Oral Sex, for Penguin Publishing. It was a huge success with paparazzi, celebrities and hundred of people waiting eagerly for their personally signed book by yours truly. Chef Pieps gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He said that he wanted to shoot a pilot TV show for himself and use my next event to showcase it. I had planned to throw a Valentine’s Party to promote my new Tantric Lover’s game anyway, but now I could go all out. I told Chef Pieps some of the erotic food ideas I had, ideas which included a live mermaid surrounded by fresh seafood, a naked sushi girl, a mashed potato martini bar and, for desert, a chocolate fountain. He loved them and offered to provide the beautiful naked servers. I can hardly wait for Valentines Day and it’s only December, which reminds me it’s time to go Xmas shopping.

Thanksgiving Week

2005-12-01T19:53:00.000-08:00

So Much Ghandi, So little time

“BE the CHANGE you want to see in the world,” was one of Ghandi’s many important and insightful messages. It was quoted by Sir Ben Kingsley, the actor who portrayed the great man in the Academy Award winning film Ghandi, as I sat in the audience at a Hollywood party given by Ted Turner (or, at least, that’s what was written on the invitation). It also read “hosted by Sir Ben Kingsley in honor of Dr. Mani Bhaumik,” but first a little bit more about Ted. Now, I didn’t expect Ted Turner to be waiting for me as I walked into the ballroom, but I did expect him to show up. After all, who gives a party and goes MIA? Alas, Ted had something better to do and sent his condolences via satellite. Don’t you just love modern day technology? If only I could invent a way for lovers to caress and kiss each other over the internet. Hmm…I wonder if John Lennon could’ve imagined that. Anyway, back to the party. Celebrities who attended included Paris Hilton’s parents (without Paris), Peter Falk (or as I like to call him, Columbo), Angie Dickinson of Policewoman fame, and a few others whose faces looked familiar but whose names I can’t remember. As I mentioned before, Sir Ben Kingsley did show up and was an entertaining and stimulating speaker. That was the good news. The bad news is that after Sir Ben, other speakers were not so polished and articulate. I was getting increasingly hungry, but dinner wouldn’t be served until after everyone had spoken so I tried to applaud as often and as loud as humanly possible. It should be mentioned here that the honoree, Dr. Mani Bhaumik, received his honor for outstanding contributions to science and humanity for inventing Lasik eye surgery, and for writing his latest book, Code Name God. Yet, somehow, that got lost in all the theatrics. Well, it was a Hollywood party. After dinner, nourished and revived, I looked forward to getting my complimentary goodie bag with Dr. Mani’s new book in it, but alas, another disappointment. The bags and the books were all gone and so was I.

Tantric Sex in Newcastle

Traveling to new places and lecturing to large groups of people is one of the great perks in my profession. Newcastle, New Hampshire was no exception. Admittedly, I’d rather go to a different continent like Asia - for example, I loved lecturing in Vietnam, Jakarta, Singapore and Hong Kong. Even Africa, although I got food poisoning there, was a tremendous bang…literally. And then there is Europe, of course. Spain was fun, Turkey was exciting, and Cyprus was romantic. Norway and Sweden were cold (but the people were hot), Hungary was particularly memorable for me because that’s where I was born, and the pastries were amazing in Austria. And then, there’s Newcastle, New Hampshire. I arrived at my beautiful five star resort hotel at midnight and was ready to lecture early the next morning. My first seminar was entitled, Passion Power. It is a seminar geared towards couples who want to enhance their intimacy. My favorite part of this seminar is when I ask couples how well they really know each other. For example, do you know what your lover’s answers would be to the following questions?

What would he/she say is their best physical feature?
What do you think are their strengths and weaknesses?
What is their life philosophy?
What would he/she say were three of the most significant times in their relationship?
What is their greatest possession?

Not so easy, is it? Passion Power is a popular seminar of mine because it comes with a workbook for couples to go home and reconnect with each other emotionally and physically; to let them work on their relationship long after my seminar.

After Passion Power, I gave another seminar entitled, How To Talk To Your Kids About Love And Sex. Parents with kids ranging from toddlers to teens attended. My intention with this particular seminar is to get parents to talk openly and honestly about love and sex and to prepare their children for all the sexual feelings and physiological changes they will go through. Not an easy task when the parents are more inhibited about sex than their kids. However, by the end of the seminar, I had them role-playing with each other and laughing.

That night after dinner, I gave my Tantric Sex seminar to over 100 guests while they were finishing their deserts. I love teaching a subject that is completely foreign and Tantra is one of those inspiring topics that really can push the envelope. I created the first ever Tantric Lovers game for couples to experience and learn Tantra and achieve that “ultimate” connection. It was supposed to be launched just before I left for my seminar and I had planned to give some of my games away, but unfortunately they were not ready. Incidentally, many people have the wrong idea about what Tantra is and is not, so the first thing I do is to teach them some Tantric words like Temple, which means body, Pillows of Compassion which are breasts, and, well, you get the idea, the words are poetic rather than graphic or sexual. When I asked my eager audience what they thought the word Kundalini meant, one man jumped up and shouted, ‘Secretary of State”, and everyone burst out laughing. I guess you had to be there. Incidentally it means sexual energy. The next step was for me to define the different kinds of Tantra. There’s Black Tantra (used to manipulate others, not something that was going to be included in my presentation), White Tantra, which is about meditation, healing and releasing emotion (all very nice but not what I was going to talk about), and Red Tantra, which was to be the focus of my night. Red, as a colour, is for passion, and Red Tantra is all about exchanging yin (female) and yang (male) energy to worship your lover. So as the night went on, I had couples worshipping each other through the various Tantric elements like, breath, movement, sound, intention and attention. The night ended with everyone feeling closer, except for me. I went to bed alone. Well, not exactly. I do have my TriGasm. After 2 days of non-stop lecturing, it was nice to fly back to LA in time to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Cross Dressing on Turkey Day

I rarely see clients on holidays, but Thanksgiving was a quiet day. I didn’t have plans until dinner, so I agreed to see Mark and his wife, Linda - a couple I had seen before. Mark had a predominant fantasy involving cross-dressing, and Linda was none too happy about his bending gender roles. However, she finally accepted it as long as it stayed in the bedroom or, shall I say, their bedroom.

Mark was a strong ultra-masculine man, while Linda was a pretty, petite woman. As they sat down in front of me, I realized they had a big problem because Linda was weeping. Before I had a chance to ask anything, she blurted out, “Dr. Ava he wants to dress in drag in front of my family tonight and I won’t go to Thanksgiving dinner with him like that.” Therapists should never allow themselves to be used by one party against another. Mark was clearly overstepping the boundaries they had agreed upon. For Linda, this was a deal breaker. “What’s going on, Mark?” I asked. “I want to feel free to dress as I want. It’s not about sexual role playing anymore; it’s about me being comfortable in front of other people when I’m dressed as a woman,” he exclaimed. I looked at both of them, calmly and serenely, and thought to myself, obviously, this was going to take a lot more than a one-hour session. But, I wanted to resolve their immediate problem and so I had an idea. “How about a little compromise here? Mark, I’m sure you can understand Linda’s concerns about how her family may react to you showing up in women’s clothing, so why don’t you wear women’s panties and stockings under your trousers? You’ll still feel the same rush that you get from cross-dressing, but you won’t embarrass Linda or her family.” Mark and Linda looked at each other with what looked like a contemptuous glance, then back at me. “Oh, I don’t…” But, before Linda could finish her sentence, Mark interrupted her and nodded, “Alright Dr. Ava, if that’s what you suggest, I’ll do it just to keep the peace.” Although still visibly unhappy, Linda looked somewhat relieved. I reminded her that nobody would know that he was wearing women’s panties but her. She thanked me, but, somehow, I don’t think she looked forward to Thanksgiving dinner.

Dr. Ava's Loveology Blog 2

2005-11-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

Paul Revere and the 2 Minute Man

The 2 minute drill may be exciting in football but, in the bedroom, it can pose a serious problem. Bill returned for another session on his premature ejaculation problem. He appeared very pleased with himself as he sat across my desk, smiling. “I went down on Annie for 20 minutes Dr. Ava!” he announced triumphantly. “Just as she was climaxing, I kept my tongue on her clit and went for her G-spot with my finger. She just kept cumming and cumming and cumming. It was…awesome,” he pleasantly sighed. I praised Bill for his newfound sexual prowess, all of which he had learned in our previous session. “Congratulations, you completed the Venus Butterfly technique. How long were you able to last after that? I inquired. “I got on top of her and almost came too fast, so I changed positions like you suggested and lasted at least for 5 minutes,” he replied. Did he say 5 minutes? 5 minutes! My 2 minute man was now a 5 minute man? Fantastic! Now that’s what I call progress. Listening to Bill, I couldn’t help wonder what the ultimate minute man, Paul Revere, would have thought. “Dr. Ava is coming! Dr. Ava is coming!”

Sex on Drugs

While waiting for my next client, I received a call from a reporter at the Metro Newspaper in the UK. They wanted my expert opinion on having sex while on recreational drugs. I can’t imagine needing anything more than a spontaneous, open-minded, adventurous and willing personality for great sex. So the need for anything more stimulating than the most stimulating thing on earth is not only foreign to me but, well, crazy. Besides, isn’t sex the most natural drug on earth? I don’t use recreational drugs but, apparently, this has become an epidemic in the UK.

Addicted to Love

I think Robert Palmer had something when he belted, “Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love!” And what’s so wrong with that? After all, isn’t it our most basic fundamental desire…to give and receive love?
My new client was a genuine Beverly Hills desperate housewife. Lacey entered my office with every hair in place, perfect makeup, sporting an expensive designer suit that showed every curve. In short, lace had nothing on Lacey. She was voluptuous, beautiful and, ironically, confident. “I’m a sex addict, “she proclaimed - and so began our 2 hour session.
I found her self-diagnosis interesting and asked her why she felt it to be true. She proceeded to confess she was having sex with her trainer, her pool boy, her gardener, and was presently contemplating her hairdresser. “I’m running out of employees,” she wryly mused. Lacey was no longer in love with her husband, a prominent plastic surgeon whom she married 15 years ago. Divorce was too complicated and, therefore, not an option. Her relationship with her husband had moved beyond dislike. She had become completely indifferent and numb towards him, in every way. In fact, she was perfectly OK with her husband cheating on her, something she had resigned herself to years ago. “When I leave today, I will be meeting a cute waiter I met this morning at a hotel,” she commented bluntly. “How do you feel after you have sex with these men?” I asked. “I want them to love me,” she responded instantaneously. And there it was, clear as day. Lacey was not a sex addict. She was a love addict.
An addiction to “sex” needs to be monitored, analyzed and understood. An addiction to Desperate Housewives, well that’s another session!

It’s in the cards! It’s in the cards!

Christina Engelhardt is a beautiful blond of German descent. She is also a friend. An accomplished astrologer, Christina offered to give me a Tarot card reading as a way of thanking me for hiring her as a staff writer for my website (just check out her Sextrology forecast on http://www.avacadell.com/).
Guess what? My Tarot card reading revealed that 2006 will be a big year filled with romance, success and an abundance of financial rewards for me! Pretty cool, huh?
Needless to say, I left Christina’s house feeling like a winner. I plan on holding those cards for awhile!

Apprentice Sexperts

Meanwhile, Chance (my office manager), was back at the office filming an apprentice prospect named Tracey. Tracey was busy revealing her qualifications for the apprentice sexpert position by performing a few positions of her own – a striptease for the camera. Earlier that day, Chance filmed Charlese outside Hustler who wanted to show off her TriGasm purchase for the camera. Afterwards, Salvatore came in for an audition, but couldn’t think of anything better to say than, “Hello, my name is Salvatore and I am a good lover.” Apparently, Salvatore is short for Salvation For All Women! The next day, he called back and wanted to re-shoot his audition tape. You’ve got to see these tapes to believe them.

Tom Cruise the Alpha Dog

On November 8th I was asked to comment on the body language of Hollywood stars for E! News. I arrived before noon so they could air the segment that very night. I watched various TV re-runs, one of which was of Tom Cruise kissing Katie Holmes. I pointed out that Tom’s body language was that of an alpha-dog controlling his prey. The producers then showed me Vince Vaughn hugging Jennifer Anniston. I immediately picked up on his primal grip which screamed, “I want you now” while Jennifer’s body language was much more passive. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s walk to the podium to promote their movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith was memorable because they were trying to hide the fact that they had been intimate. I commented on Brad biting his bottom lip, which is an indication he really wants to blurt something out, but is forcing himself to hide it. Angelina was sauntering with a satisfied smile on her face; the kind a woman has after a fulfilling climax.

Dr. Ava’s Loveology Blog

2005-11-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Follow the life of one woman who dishes out her unusual, often comic, sometimes dramatic adventures as America’s premier love, relationship and sex expert.

Christened by the media, The Martha Stewart of Love and Intimacy!

The story so far; For over a decade Dr. Ava has had her private practice in a penthouse office high above the Sunset Strip. She counsels singles and couples on a wide range of love, relationship and sexual issues. Dr. Ava regularly appears on TV and radio shows while contributing to dozens of magazines and newspapers with her no-holds-barred advice. Where mentioned, names of her clients will be changed to protect their identity.

The perils of working for Dr. Ava

Last month Dr. Ava found out that Robbi, her female assistant of 2 years met her dream man on one of Dr. Ava’s seminar tours to Alaska, so Robbi resigned and will be relocating to another state to live with him. This was not unexpected since Robbi was young, attractive and unattached. Dr. Ava is now interviewing apprentices.

And so the search begins

I interviewed my first candidate for the position as my new apprentice, but realized in the first 5 minutes that Mrs. Bertha Jones, a plump, post menopausal woman, was not going to be able to handle looking at dildos, talk about orgasms or even type the words oral sex, so I cut the meeting short. Bertha walked towards the door in slow motion as she eyeballed a shelf filled with my array of love products, books on sex, orgasm cream, my TriGasm vibrator and the Tantric Lover’s Game. She took a deep breath and threw me a final objectionable glance, which almost made me feel like some kind of sexual deviant. But once she was gone, I made the executive decision that prompted me to hold video auditions, instead of seeing one ill-equipped candidate after another, and wrote the following ad.

Career Opportunity - Casting

Dr. Ava is looking for a dynamic, intelligent, interesting, and uninhibited business person to be her apprentice. Age, gender and sexual orientation are immaterial. If you want to apply, please create a 2-3 minute video showing how you could contribute to promoting the benefits of healthy love and intimacy to singles and couples around the globe.

Video content: Anything that you believe will get Dr. Ava’s attention!

Upload the video by Dec 15th at www.avacadell.com Instructions on how and where to upload will be placed on the site shortly. Good luck, be happy and stay sexy!

From infidelity to masturbation and Tantric sex

On October 11th, Dr. Ava was a guest expert on the Montel Williams Show, which focused on “A Husbands Betrayal.”Other guests included a wife whose husband shot her after she discovered that he was cheating, a wife and daughter who were mortified to discover that their husband and father of 19 years had been cheating for the past 17 years and to make matters worse, was arrested for soliciting sex from a 13 year child on the Internet. Finally a couple married for 8 years were counseled by Dr. Ava because the woman found out her husband was leading a double life.

Dr. Ava also worked on a 12 part TV series, The Science of Sex. They filmed Dr. Ava counseling some of her clients (with their permission) including a pretty blonde woman called Mindy, in her early 20’s, who didn’t have a clue about the female anatomy and had never experienced an orgasm. Buck, a hunk in his early 30’s, agreed to be filmed because he wanted to share his passion for masturbation and some of his self-pleasuring techniques. Before you get too aroused, you should know that demonstrations were shown on anatomical puppets and toys. The crew also filmed a gorgeous couple, Matt and Renee who displayed some highly erotic Tantric sexual practices (no nudity) but very sensual to watch. My favorite is the Tantric Dance, where they hold each other tight, eye-gaze and move their bodies in unison, but not their feet. Not all of Dr. Ava’s clients are hotties and hunks, but the ones who want to be on TV usually are…surprise surprise! Note: This show will not air until later in the month of November so watch their site or ours for updated information.

Dr. Ava’s agent and manager have been setting up appointments for her to meet with network executives for her own TV talk show.

Pole Dancing and Sushi

The last week in October

Graduation day at the
>S Factor! My final class in pole dancing began with the counting of my various war wounds, or shall I say, bruises on my body. Who would’ve ever thought opening and closing my legs around a long thick hard pole would make me so sore? After all, I am an experienced sex expert. Stretching out the kinks before class, I couldn’t help acknowledge my newfound appreciation for strippers. Do I want to be a stripper? No, but I do recommend the classes to my clients and I take my research very seriously. Besides, a good sex expert always practices what she preaches. Stripping is sexy, safe, and a fantastic workout, but you might have to wear stockings afterwards.

After pole dancing, I graduated to some inspiring sushi. I met Carlana Stone at Yoshi Sushi to interview her for my newsletter. Her new book, “Never Give In, Never Give Up” is about her life before she was in a terrible car accident, where everyone walked away unscathed except for Carlana, who never walked again. Today, Carlana, though wheelchair-bound, skydives, skis, and at thirty-four, has married the love of her life.

After my fill of spicy tuna on deep fried crispy rice, it was time to go aphrodisiac shopping for tomorrow’s show with Leeza Gibbons, host of a new radio show on 97.3 EZ Rock. So, I went to Mrs. Gooches in Beverly Hills where I picked up $100 worth of phallic looking love foods.

Hypnotic Love Foods

At 10:00 AM on Wednesday October 19th, I was live on air with Leeza, who didn’t look a day older than the last time I was on her TV show more than 5 years ago. I lay down my aphrodisiacs in front of her and her eyes lit up as she started speaking to her audience. “Dr. Ava has brought us some naughty looking foods, like bananas” and she spelled the word out as if it was really too sexy to say. I enjoyed her coyness and fed her chocolates, black licorice, fresh figs, tomatoes and carrots, the phallic symbol of the vegetable kingdom. She was feeling the effects and we had fun bantering back and forth.

That’s Hollywood…Easy cum easy go!

On Thursday I was excited because my agent had set up an appointment for me to meet with network executives for my own TV show, so I splurged on getting my make-up done professionally by Mac. Halfway through the make-up session, my agent called to say that they needed to reschedule. Looking exceptionally glamorous, but feeling disappointed that nobody at the network was going to see me at my best, I just went to my office and paid bills, then sang “Happy Birthday” to Robbi, my assistant who was going to be leaving me at the end of the week. My heart really wasn’t into singing and my gift to her was unimaginative…a gift certificate to Neiman Marcus.

Before the day's end, I saw June, a gloomy looking client in her late forties, who confessed that she had never had an orgasm. She was not in a relationship and did not masturbate, possibly two good reasons for her dilemma. I gave her an anatomy lesson of the vulva and clitoris (by demonstrating on a realistic looking plastic model) and I encouraged her to fantasize while pleasuring herself (at home). Finally, I gave her a box of Vibrel, an amazing female enhancement gel that has been instrumental in helping women become more orgasmic. June left my office with a bounce in her step and couldn’t stop thanking me for my help.

Male bashing can be fun

On Friday morning I worked out in the morning in my home gym with an ex Mr. Italy, body builder trainer, Massimo, who inspires me to stay in shape. My favorite activity is when he gives me boxing gloves to put on and tells me to hit him as hard as I can. Second favorite activity is just looking at his bulging muscles.

Then I took my friend Berri, a PR agent, out for a birthday lunch at the Ivy in Beverly Hills. We have a lot in common. For one thing, we both have a dog called, Romeo. I gave her a high tech desk set and we enjoyed people watching, eating and talking about men and sex, two of my favorite subjects.

I am the Sex Fairy

Later on I saw Bill, a client who was suffering from performance anxiety with his new girlfriend, Annie. He said that his erection couldn’t last longer than a couple of minutes and he didn’t want to become infamous as the two minute man, so he begged me for my help, hoping that I could just wave my magic wand and poof… his penis would stay hard for hours. Just call me the sex fairy. Anyway, I told Bill to focus on his girlfriend’s pleasure instead of his penis. “Take your time to please her” I said showing him how to caress her vulva (on the puppet), “Give her oral sex and wait until after she’s had her orgasm before penetration.” Bill gave me a big hug, smiled for the first time and said that he would be back next week to let me know how it all worked out.